TManTrek.Com: Terry Lynch's Trip Around the World

"Africa is materially more decrepit that it was when I first knew it - hungrier, poorer, less educated, more pessimistic, more corrupt, and you can’t tell the witch doctors from the politicians. I got sick, I got stranded, but I was never bored. In fact, my trip was a delight and a revelation."
Paul Theroux, author of Dark Star Safari

"I got really sick, stranded numerous times, almost robbed twice, pushed around by the police and military, stalked by wild animals, and was nearly swept away in a flash flood. To say my trip was a revelation would be a gross understatement, and I would repeat this epic journey in a heartbeat."
Terence "T-man" Lynch - Horizon Chaser

Before long I found myself sitting in front of a young travel agent listening to my dilemma. He suggested an overland tour the entire route (which is a cross between Spring Break and a safari), I suggested hitchhiking the entire way (4,000 miles). Finally we agreed on a split, overland tour through the desert to the north towards Livingstone, Zambia, then I would travel the rest of the 2,000 miles on my own.

I was just about to purchase a "Drink Till She’s Cute" T-shirt, fitting for the Overland Tour, until I saw a piece of scratch paper hanging from the notice board of the hostel. Traveling to the Following Countries and Need Another Companion to Split Costs: Namibia, Botswana, Zambia, Malawi, Tanzania, Kenya, etc. Contact James and Stuart, Room #4. There was no other way to explain this, this was a message from God!

God came in the form of two Brits; James Hubert is a 30 year old Brit who formally ran a lightbulb company, until he got tired of working and decided to travel. Stuart Bowen is a 28 year old Welshman who left England 3 years prior, traveled South America for the first year, then worked in Australia. Both men met two weeks prior in South Africa, and, while drinking heavily in a pub, decided to travel from Capetown to England. A week later they purchased a 1975 Land Rover, a "How to Fix Cars" manual, and a map of the Continent. Two weeks later they met a Chesty American who’s title of "Horizon Chaser" was just the right fit. We concentrated the new trio by drinking heavily and planning our route over the next few days.

One problem with the "Landy" was that it only had room for two people to sleep in the back. This meant the token American had to purchase tent, bed role, and sleeping bag (a shovel was added to my supplies, I will explain later), which was to be my home for the next two months. Lodging was strictly forbidden on this trek. The more we drank, the more "problems" seemed to surface.

James: "Forgot to tell you, the Landy is a bit old and she’s not that fast. She tops off between 60-70kph (40-45 mph)."
Stuart: "And She has no seat belts."
James: "And the roof leaks when it rains"
Stuart: "And the shocks are gone"
James: "And the:
Stuart: "............ and the....."
Tman: "..............................and the??"

I ordered another round of drinks thinking that might solve the mechanical problems. To be honest, I kinda got a rush thinking about traveling the Dark Continent in a beat-up truck, which would most likely break down probably creating precarious situations for us on the way. So I found myself answering every "Problem" statement with a loud affirmation of "HELL YEA".

Nambia

It seemed the James and Stuart promised two women a ride to Windhoek, Namibia prior to my arrival. This meat I was on my own for the first 1000 miles. I heard the Namib desert was a must see, so upon arriving in the capital I booked a 3 day "safari" to see the oldest desert in the world.

A few days later I was woken at 4:45 AM to view a "mandatory" sunrise. We traveled in the pre-dawn hours to Dune # 45 (named because its 45km from the nearest town of Sovakopmued) and is a famed sunrise dune. It rises from the desert floor nearly 600 meters, and even at that hour there was a steady line of travelers making their way up the dune for a good vantage point. The sunrise itself was descent, but the real magnificence came when the light actually reflected off the dunes. In direct sunlight they give off an apricot hue while the near shadows reflect a red and violet.

After breakfast we headed to Sossuslei, an ancient lake bed that has long since dried leaving a unique landscape. Problem is you need to hike there about three miles, which doesn’t sound like much of an effort except for the fact that it was 114 degrees in the shade. Upon approaching the lake bed I thought I was hallucinating because all I could see was a greyish square suspended in a sea of orange. Upon further investigation I was sane, just dehydrated, as walked the cracked earth that was once a sanctuary for all life in the oldest desert in the world.

Back to Windhoek and reunited with James and Stuart. It seemed that the Landy broke down twice en route, so the next few days were spent attaining spare parts and last minute essentials. We were forewarned that Windhoek was the last "civilized city" (i.e. toilet paper and ATMs) we would visit until Nairobi. The night before we embarked I met a salty S. African man who listened to me boast about my adventure to come. He listened intently, then began to spin tales of being robbed at gun point by the army, witnessed a near road-side execution, and an elephant charging his vehicle. He words were sobering, and they weren’t answered with a "Hell Yeah". He bought last round and we parted on the following advice:
"Always keep in mind that this is Africa, and in Africa things change constantly. She’s an untamed bitch, and traveling across her is not a "trip" but an absolute adventure. Just make sure you treat her with respect, and with some luck just might live through this."
"Hell Yeah?"

The next day we were off, and s-l-o-w-l-y making our way north. Highway travel is unique in Africa, especially at 40 mph. Brand new Aid Agency Land Cruisers passing us at breakneck speeds, the occasional breaking for stock animals, and wild animals (especially in Game Parks but we did spot a Leopard and Elephants along the highway). In Ngepi, Northern Namibia, we met the ex-goalie for the national soccer team at a bar drinking mass quantities of alcohol. He, against the request of the bartender, stumbled to his car to venture home. The next day rumor spread like wildfire that our inebriated goalkeeper struck 5 goats en route home. Restitution was quick, pay for the goats ($15 per goat) or dance with the crocs and hippos. One learns fast the rule of the African road.

Our first park was Etosha in northern Namibia, and it brought a bounty of zebra, giraffe, and other herbivores just by the road. These animals are cute, but watching too much National Geographic, all one wants is pack of lions to swoop into the peaceful herd to initiate a bloody orgy. This didn’t happen, but the giraffe were quite the spectacle. This is also where I receive a small sample of what’s to come regarding slumber in the bush.

My second night camping was uneventful, up until 1 am. I was lying in my tent (latter to be renamed the ghetto tent) when I heard some scrambling outside. I grabbed my mighty pocket flashlight, and peered through the flap. About 15 feet away was a jackal staring at me, with beefy red eyes reflecting from the beam of light. Jackals aren’t dangerous, but they do carry rabies. I decided I needed protection, so I grabbed a shovel slept with it next to me just in case.

I woke up already clutching my trusty shovel listening to this strange noise. The noise wasn’t necessarily the problem, but when your mind races to remind you that you are sleeping in a tent, in Africa, and in a GAME park - now that is a problem. The camping ground was surrounded by a fence, but all I could imagine was a huge lion smelling white man’s blood and being on the prowl. Whatever the noise was, it was loud, close, and coming from something big. The roars started to dissipate, then finally disappeared. I looked at my watch, it was 2:15 AM.

The only way I can describe what was happening at 3:30 AM was that God decided to show me how insignificant I actually am. The skies simply opened up, and the heavens rained and lightning crashed as if it was the apocalypse. The furious wind caused my tent to shake like a Frenchman, and the spikes quickly became uprooted. The only solution I had was to lie on my back and secure all four corners with my feet and hands. I tossed my shovel out for fear it was attract lightning, and I lied there exposed as nature became violent all around me. Then the waters came. Water hit the saturated earth and began to collect all around me. I first noticed it under the tents floor, then coming through the front. Perhaps this was the apocalypse, seeing that James and Stuart sat comfortably in the Land Rover Ark like modern day Noahs. They awoke because the wind was so violent it was shaking the car. They later told me they thought they would rise in the morning to see a smoldering hole where my tent was, and a smoking baseball visor - all that remained of me. I think it was about this time I went insane. As I lied anchoring my tent during this electrical storm and terrestrial downpour, I began to taunt the Lord.

"IS THIS ALL YOU GOT! IS THIS THE BEST YOU CAN DO GOD! YOU’LL HAVE TO DO A LOT WORSE TO STOP ME!"

As I said, I went insane, and I had 6 weeks to go. "The mere animal pleasure of traveling in a wild unexplored country is very great," David Livingstone wrote in a similar situation.

Africa Continued
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